Category Archives: spiritual

Drug and Alcohol Addiction, spiritual

Giving Al-Anon in BC an Attempt May Open Secret Doorways of Alcoholism and Addiction

There are people who have known many individuals and while making an attempt to help the ones they love with alcohol addiction or alcoholism have acted as some type of amateur counselor, therapist or psychologist for a long time in the hope it would help the problem drinker arrive at his or her senses. Eventually and at some point, they find themselves in a dilemma or crisis or find themselves tired, exhausted and drained of energy and unable or unwilling to assist or help anymore and wonder and ask themselves where all this talk therapies ever got them.

Eventually after many years of beseeching, entreating, praying and pleading with someone to stop their drinking, the crisis they have always feared happens and their own life is damaged or sometimes ruined.

So a key message is for anyone who loves a problem drinker is get help for oneself first or they will not only end up as obsessive and as ill as the individual in addiction, they will also be engaging in actions and behavior which will enable and permit the addicted person they love to go much deeper into his or her drug addiction .

A failure to understand where drug and alcohol addiction comes from, how it works and how individuals with serious alcohol addictions end up prevents people who love a problem drinker from really going for a solution of the problem and issues. That’s the reason Al-Anon is an absolute must for an individual or anyone whose member of the family or loved one has a problem with alcohol or drugs. That is also the main reason Al-Anon is an absolutely essential (particularly in the early days) for anyone whose family member, or loved one has developed an addiction and dependency to alcohol.

Not only is loving someone with an dependence on alcohol all consuming, exhausting and stressful, it is also one of the final social or cultural taboos and acknowledging to someone else that they have got a problem drinker in the family or they are married to an alcoholic, for example, is not really what most people feel they are able to or want to confess to. This is often due to a feeling of perceived failure, weakness or shame or simply because most men and women who do not know or love an addict are extremely unkind and unknowing towards the addiction.

There has been a popular view over the years that it is due to an addict’s insufficient willpower that lay behind the problem. So for people who love the individual with an alcohol addiction it is a double whammy or curse. Their heart is breaking inside because from the negative effects drinking is doing to their loved one and on their own life but they feel an extra attack as they do not feel as free to discuss and focus on their problem and difficulty as they would for example if their family member had an illness like cancer.

Nevertheless, Al-Anon and other family counselling groups have had the experience as a support for many years for those affected by living with, or caring about or for somebody with an alcohol addiction or drug problem. They provide a refuge where problems and issues can be discussed and talked about with individuals who understand and who are compassionate and loving. And that is not the only advantage or benefit as Al-Anon helps and aids families and friends of problem drinkers to understand, accept and acknowledge that it is not their fault or wrong doing that the person they know and love is undoubtedly an alcohol addict and that while they cannot change the mind sets from the drinker they can change their own attitudes and see positives where they only have seen darkness and sorrow before.

Al-Anon also helps and assists families and friends of alcohol addicted loved ones to understand the art of disengagement and separation and to make certain they do not enable and allow the person they love to sink more deeply into their alcohol or drug addiction.

Drug and Alcohol Addiction, spiritual

Seeking Serenity through Al-Anon in British Columbia

At Al-Anon group meetings in Vancouver , family members, close relatives and friends of addicts come with each other to share their knowledge, understanding, experience, strength and hope. Al-Anon’s philosophy is that men and women cannot control or stop another person’s alcohol addiction. In the same way addicts who acknowledge and accept Step One of Alcoholics Anonymous declare that they are powerless over alcohol and drugs, Al-Anon members teach and educate powerlessness over loved ones and family member addictions.

However Al-Anon’s companion philosophy is that an individual is entitled to have a serene life even if a loved one chooses to keep on living in active addiction. By joining hand-in-hand and working together to share experiences and knowledge, members in Al-Anon learn and understand tools and skills for living decently, honestly and serenely whether a loved one is actively using or is within recovery. In Al-Anon, members “take what they should like and leave the rest.” What this means is that in almost every group meeting or assembly, members hear something that gives them understanding of their own behavior and attitudes.

Many people embark on Al-Anon using the outlook, expectation or hope that they will learn and understand the strategies for curing and healing a loved one’s drug or alcohol addiction. People may be disappointed and frustrated to understand and fully grasp that no such secret and technique exist. Nevertheless, a lot of people find that by gaining strength and acquiring serenity, and showing their loved ones that they trust and have confidence in them to make their very own decisions and choices, their family members often gain strength too. Whenever people become less preoccupied with a loved one’s drug addiction or dependency , addiction seems to lose its power of them. It can also be not unusual to discover that once people change their need to control and discover how to create boundaries and look after themselves, the addict also begins to change and transform and sometimes seeks help in drug and alcohol treatment centers to recover from their addictions.

There are numerous slogans people learn in Al-Anon which help them practice Al-Anon principles and guidelines in their daily lives. One favorite and preferred is “don’t just do something, sit there.” So frequently, people who worry about their addicts’ lives want to leap in and “solve” their problems. However in Al-Anon they learn to hold back before acting to make sure that what they THINK they must do is really the correct action. For instance, whenever a father or mother receives a phone call from an addicted child seeking money, shelter or some other favor, the normal reaction is to want to help or assist right away. But in Al-Anon, people learn how to sit still and think first. People learn to “give an addict the dignity of making his or her own mistakes,” for that is how addicts may become decent and responsible persons. This may be difficult, but as people share their experiences in Al-Anon they learn that “taking contrary action” is often the best help they can give their addicted family members.

Another helpful slogan is “zip your lip.” Often, an individual’s natural tendency is to provide advice, tell the addict how to proceed and how to get it done. But unless an opinion or advice is sought, they learn to simply listen and say things to the addict such as “I understand you will figure this out” or “that is very interesting.” The addict doesn’t want to be threatened, cajoled or see someone’s anger. If they know they could be listened to without being judged, communication and conversation with them remain open and, hopefully, the addict will at some point realize and recognize they CAN go to the loved one or family member for help and assistance in healing and recovery and also be accepted for who they are. As a result of Al-Anon people learn that often, the fewer questions they will ask, the greater details and selective information an addict gives them.

Al-Anon has helped many people find solutions that lead to serenity. Regardless of what an individual’s religious beliefs are or even if them lack them entirely, people are sure to find help in Al-Anon. Encircled by caring and compassionate people whose struggles are similar to others battling with addiction problems, they will learn tools and skills for taking care of themselves, setting boundaries, and achieving serenity. Just for today, decide to walk one’s own path towards serenity so that the addict can walk theirs.

Drug and Alcohol Addiction, spiritual

Al-Anon Getting Together with Joe and Being Powerless in Addiction

Prior to Joe coming into Al-Anon the notion of being powerless and helpless was totally strange and foreign to Joe. Joe never ever once admitted, accepted or acknowledged that HE was powerless, helpless, weak, incapable or even feeble, not once, ever. All things considered, Joe thought and believed it was his job to “help, assist, aid and support” everybody or anyone. To make certain and sure that almost everything worked right, and ran smoothly and without problems.

If every person would just do it HIS way, the entire world would work a whole lot better!

There was clearly this one small problem or difficulty — Joe was living with and coping with an alcoholic who was addicted to drugs and alcohol. Joe was sharing his life, his entire world, with somebody that had a disease or illness that caused them to be compelled and forced to do something that was harmful to and unhealthy for them. This made absolutely no sense whatsoever, defied all logic and reasoning, and left Joe baffled, puzzled, perplexed, bewildered and confused.

Absolutely nothing Joe ever did worked or proved help. Joe was defeated and whipped. Angry and Furious. Frustrated and Discouraged. Lonely, Unhappy and Depressed. Then Al-Anon told Joe that none, not one of those things Joe did or did not do mattered or made a difference. Joe was powerless and helpless. Joe was dealing and coping with a disease, illness or sickness that denied and refused it existed and that resisted any drug and alcohol treatment.

Admitting and acknowledging to oneself that they are powerless and helpless may sound like giving up or quitting. Well, that is precisely and exactly where Joe was, Joe surrendered! However the steps did not stop or end with surrender. They go forward and continue with a path of recovery and treatment that gave Joe a new power and strength, a new freedom and liberty, in realizing and knowing that it was NOT his job to decide or determine when someone or anyone else was ready and willing to begin recovery and healing and a new life.

There exists a power greater and higher than oneself who is NOT powerless, helpless, weak, incapable or feeble. A power and mightiness that is in control and much more capable than Joe ever was. All Joe had to do to get that power in his life was to make a simple decision or choice to turn it over to Him (Yahweh better known as God the Creator of Heaven and Earth) and sit back and watch it work in his life and the lives of others. Which, when an individual thinks about it, requires no real effort at all.